Privacy Policy
Effective Date: November 30, 2024
Last Updated: November 30, 2024
At Franz Maurer Co., your privacy is very important to us, though not quite as important as our collection of vintage leather jackets and untraceable SIM cards. This policy outlines how we handle your data, protect your secrets, and possibly judge your browsing habits.
1. What We Collect
We may or may not collect the following types of data (depending on how much coffee Franz had that morning):
Personal Information: Name, address, phone number, and the frequency of your suspiciously late-night grocery store visits.
Behavioral Data: The last five movies you cried over, websites you visited, and how many hours you spend googling "Franz Maurer memes."
Device Information: Your IP address, device type, and whether your Wi-Fi password is still "12345678."
2. How We Use Your Data
We only use your data to:
Laugh at your Spotify playlists.
Sell you leather jackets Franz would wear in a slow-motion fight scene.
Improve our services, including but not limited to: brooding tutorials, intense training montages, and the occasional cooking video.
3. Data Sharing
We promise not to sell your data...unless the offer is really good. That said, we may share data with the following:
Franz's friends who have questionable IT skills but promise to keep it private.
The shady guy in the corner of a smoky bar (only when absolutely necessary).
Third-party companies offering services, like hosting fight clubs.
4. Your Rights
You have the right to:
Request a copy of the data we have on you, but be warned: It’s all written in a secret code only Franz understands.
Ask us to delete your data, though Franz might need 48 hours and a shot of whiskey to comply.
Refuse cookies (but we’ll judge you for hating cookies).
5. Data Retention
We keep your data as long as it takes Franz to grow a respectable stubble, or until it’s no longer necessary for the purposes stated above, whichever comes first.
6. Contact Information
For any privacy concerns, complaints, or requests, please contact our Data Privacy Officer, Franz’s parrot:
Email: franz.privacy@maurerco.fake
Phone: Call Franz, but only if you have his number.
Privacy Policy
Effective Date: November 30, 2024
Last Updated: November 30, 2024
At Franz Maurer Co., your privacy is very important to us, though not quite as important as our collection of vintage leather jackets and untraceable SIM cards. This policy outlines how we handle your data, protect your secrets, and possibly judge your browsing habits.
1. What We Collect
We may or may not collect the following types of data (depending on how much coffee Franz had that morning):
Personal Information: Name, address, phone number, and the frequency of your suspiciously late-night grocery store visits.
Behavioral Data: The last five movies you cried over, websites you visited, and how many hours you spend googling "Franz Maurer memes."
Device Information: Your IP address, device type, and whether your Wi-Fi password is still "12345678."
2. How We Use Your Data
We only use your data to:
Laugh at your Spotify playlists.
Sell you leather jackets Franz would wear in a slow-motion fight scene.
Improve our services, including but not limited to: brooding tutorials, intense training montages, and the occasional cooking video.
3. Data Sharing
We promise not to sell your data...unless the offer is really good. That said, we may share data with the following:
Franz's friends who have questionable IT skills but promise to keep it private.
The shady guy in the corner of a smoky bar (only when absolutely necessary).
Third-party companies offering services, like hosting fight clubs.
4. Your Rights
You have the right to:
Request a copy of the data we have on you, but be warned: It’s all written in a secret code only Franz understands.
Ask us to delete your data, though Franz might need 48 hours and a shot of whiskey to comply.
Refuse cookies (but we’ll judge you for hating cookies).
5. Data Retention
We keep your data as long as it takes Franz to grow a respectable stubble, or until it’s no longer necessary for the purposes stated above, whichever comes first.
6. Contact Information
For any privacy concerns, complaints, or requests, please contact our Data Privacy Officer, Franz’s parrot:
Email: franz.privacy@maurerco.fake
Phone: Call Franz, but only if you have his number.
Privacy Policy
Effective Date: November 30, 2024
Last Updated: November 30, 2024
At Franz Maurer Co., your privacy is very important to us, though not quite as important as our collection of vintage leather jackets and untraceable SIM cards. This policy outlines how we handle your data, protect your secrets, and possibly judge your browsing habits.
1. What We Collect
We may or may not collect the following types of data (depending on how much coffee Franz had that morning):
Personal Information: Name, address, phone number, and the frequency of your suspiciously late-night grocery store visits.
Behavioral Data: The last five movies you cried over, websites you visited, and how many hours you spend googling "Franz Maurer memes."
Device Information: Your IP address, device type, and whether your Wi-Fi password is still "12345678."
2. How We Use Your Data
We only use your data to:
Laugh at your Spotify playlists.
Sell you leather jackets Franz would wear in a slow-motion fight scene.
Improve our services, including but not limited to: brooding tutorials, intense training montages, and the occasional cooking video.
3. Data Sharing
We promise not to sell your data...unless the offer is really good. That said, we may share data with the following:
Franz's friends who have questionable IT skills but promise to keep it private.
The shady guy in the corner of a smoky bar (only when absolutely necessary).
Third-party companies offering services, like hosting fight clubs.
4. Your Rights
You have the right to:
Request a copy of the data we have on you, but be warned: It’s all written in a secret code only Franz understands.
Ask us to delete your data, though Franz might need 48 hours and a shot of whiskey to comply.
Refuse cookies (but we’ll judge you for hating cookies).
5. Data Retention
We keep your data as long as it takes Franz to grow a respectable stubble, or until it’s no longer necessary for the purposes stated above, whichever comes first.
6. Contact Information
For any privacy concerns, complaints, or requests, please contact our Data Privacy Officer, Franz’s parrot:
Email: franz.privacy@maurerco.fake
Phone: Call Franz, but only if you have his number.