Terms and Conditions


Welcome to Franz Maurer Co., where the rules are as firm as Franz's jawline. By accessing our website, services, or products, you agree to abide by these terms. Failure to comply may result in dramatic stares, slow-motion chase scenes, or Franz personally showing up to "sort things out."

1. Acceptance of Terms

By using our services, you acknowledge that:

  • You’ve read these Terms (or at least pretended to).

  • You agree to them, even if you don’t understand half the references.

  • Franz reserves the right to change these Terms whenever he’s feeling particularly philosophical.

2. Use of Services

You agree to:

  • Only use our services for lawful and reasonably non-suspicious purposes.

  • Not impersonate Franz Maurer (unless you can pull it off convincingly).

  • Avoid any behavior that might upset Franz or his finely curated collection of sunglasses.

If you attempt anything shady (e.g., hacking, scamming, or bad-mouthing leather jackets), Franz reserves the right to terminate your access—no refunds, no mercy.

3. Purchases

Any purchase of Franz-approved products, like bomber jackets, untraceable flip phones, or online tutorials on “How to Look Intense 24/7,” is final. No returns or refunds unless Franz personally says, "Eh, okay."

4. Intellectual Property

All content on this site—including text, images, and Franz's iconic silhouette—is 100% owned by Franz Maurer Co. Unauthorized use of our materials will result in a stern glare and legal action if necessary.

5. Disclaimer of Liability

Franz Maurer Co. is not responsible for:

  • Any emotional distress caused by realizing you’ll never be as cool as Franz.

  • Loss of data due to your inability to keep your laptop in one piece during action scenes.

  • Explosions, shootouts, or car chases caused indirectly by watching our content.

6. Termination

Franz reserves the right to terminate your access to our services for:

  • Breaching these Terms.

  • Looking at him funny.

  • Posting GIFs of Franz where he doesn’t look his best.

7. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the International Brotherhood of Brooding Action Stars Act. All disputes will be resolved via arm-wrestling or dramatic negotiation over a dimly lit table.

8. Contact Information

For questions or complaints, write to us at terms@maurerco.fake. But remember, Franz only reads emails written in Courier New font and signed with a digital fingerprint.

Final Note:

By using Franz Maurer Co. services, you agree to these terms and accept that Franz operates under his own code of ethics—unpredictable, uncompromising, and undeniably stylish.

Good luck, and remember: Franz always plays by the rules... his rules.